sometimes
I wish there was a word that could replace the word "sometimes". I feel myself always using that filler word. It's almost like a safe space for me to insert said word when I run out of things to say. That got me thinking about why I try to fill the void with filler words. Is it truly about me not being able to speak or is it more about me having no vocabulary to fill.
I think both might be true. Sometimes can be used for anything, anywhere and anytime. Often people say that when you're comfortable, that means you are complacent. I think that strikes deeper within me than I would like to think. Maybe when I put my life side to side in comparison to using the word sometimes, it's almost as if I'm stagnant, escaping the discomfort with a feeling.
The second thought that was in my head was more along the lines of running out of things to say. For me, it seems that most of my thoughts tumble in like an avalanche which gives me no time to select the ones I want to speak out loud. It's like my processing speed of the immense amount of thoughts are gone. By the time I filter through, the conversation has already moved past that point. Maybe having too many things to say leads to the overflow of my brain and chokes.